Tag: Depression

I hope you heal…

Have you seen this design out and about on the interwebs recently? There are all types of shirts and apparel (which is not copyrighted…I checked) to help spread a message of the importance of mental health.

According to the CDC Website, mental health has been one of the leading causes of death in the United States for some time now. In 2022, over 49,000 people took actions due to their mental health that led to them no longer being on this earth. That’s 1 death every 11 minutes.

I know this is a really dark and heavy topic, but this is a subject that has been very close to my heart for quite a while now. You see, in 2022 I was one of the 13.2 million who were seriously considering my “external exit.” To say I was in a dark place is a gross understatement. I needed help, but didn’t feel I had anyone to turn to for a lifeline. I mean, there are people around, but I didn’t want to unload all of my burdens on them…weighing them down. I should be able to handle my struggles myself. Why was life so hard? Why didn’t I feel I was worth getting help?

While I am doing better these days, I’m still on what I expect to be a life-long journey to mental health. I have good days and bad days. I’m in counseling/therapy and that is helping tremendously. I just take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. I said during my last session, “even baby steps are still steps forward.” Celebrate the small victories. I’m learning about self-care and what it REALLY means, and just how important it is.

So, why the title “I hope you heal”?

If you’re struggling and don’t know what to do or where to turn, you are not alone. There are people that are ready to listen, ready to help share your burden. Why? Because you are worth every breath you breathe. You are not a waste. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You are valuable! You are appreciated! You are worth fighting for! Now, I’m no licensed counsellor or therapist or anything like that, but I’ve walked a road very similar, and I want to see you through on your journey toward being well.

I truly hope you find the help you need, whether it is calling (or texting) 988, the suicide hotline. I truly and wholeheartedly hope you heal.

If you would like someone to listen to you without trying to give advice or trying to “fix” anything, you let me know. Maybe we’ll meet each other on the road to healing.

Until next time,
pt

Thoughts on the day…

The passed months have held their ground. I have tried to maintain my footing while trying to carry the load of life.

Here is the battle status.

Taurus – going in the shop, hopefully, this week to have all things repaired

Depression – maintaining with the assistance of less jobs, a minute more sleep, and Lexapro.

Marriage – I don’t really think that we have had massive problems lately. Just God refining who we are and the friction that causes. We have been having some great date-nights and we just chat and love on one another with our words. We take turns talking and expressing our loves, passions, and desires. I truly love my Lovely more today than I ever have.

Children – Little Bear is now One year old. It has been 6 1/2 months since our second baby died. We are making peace with our loss, but still miss our child. We look forward to God blessing us with more children in the future, in His perfect timing.

Work – I am still holding down two jobs, but no where near the hours I had going. I bid the restaurant a farewell after threats of taking away tip money, lack of tips, and dwindling business. SU is still home for me. Looks like it’ll be that way for a good while. In fact, I am preparing to take the GRE so I can enroll @ SU in the Graduate Music Program.

Last but not least…

Weight – I have lost the most ground with this. We were eating properly and obediently according to what we feel God has instructed us to do. There was amazing weight loss. I dropped from 265 lbs to 227 lbs over about 2 1/2 to 3 months. Lovely had dropped a significant amount as well. Soon we celebrated a holiday. Then a splurge here. Then a splurge there. Then vacation…it has been a weight-gaining fiasco since then. I haven’t stepped on a scale since I was 227, but I would figure that by the way my clothes are fitting…I’m probably close to 245+.

Just proof that disobedience is sin. And EVERY sin has a consequence. Some immediate. Some gradual, but regardless of the timing, you will find yourself not recognizing your actions or even your very person.