Right at this very moment, I am so overwhelmed!
In a bad way??? Nah. God is so tremendously good to us. He knows everything that we think, feel, say, do, need, and want.
The past month and a half I have been working three..THAT’S THREE, PEOPLE…three jobs. I knew when I took the job at the restaurant (the third job) that it would not be a long-term thing, but I figured mid-June or something like that. Also, the more I have NOT been at home, the more I have wanted to be. I realized that I squandered my time with Shady and little bear away doing whatever, I don’t know what, before I took on the two part time jobs. I’ve found myself at least once each week weeping as I leave the house the past 1 1/2 months because I know that I’ll miss Shady’s antics and little bear’s next cute thing that she does. Or she’ll stop doing something cute, but the only way I experienced it was by Shady telling me about it…or by a picture of it that Shady took.
Well, the winds are blowing. I can’t really tell you all how just yet, but they are blowing. Let’s just say that last night was the first night in about 4 months that I actually slept. My heart is at rest. (well, right now I am a little anxious, but that’s expected.)
So what does the future hold? Time. Time with Shady. Time with little bear. Time talking to Shady’s belly to BN2. Time that I haven’t had. Time that I don’t have this week. Time that I probably won’t have next week or the week after that. But I’d say that by April 1st, I’ll have time. Time to use…not waste. Time to take advantage of and not throw away.
Praise be to God. Father, please forgive me for doubting You.