I just watched a guy get shackled and taken back to prison.
This is the worst part of my job. I can’t help but feel that I failed them in some way or that if I had just spent a little more time talking to them that I could have prevented what was happening.
Derek Webb wrote a song that mentions the title of the blog “…savior of the month.” I keep being reminded that I am not a Savior, but that power and authority belongs to Jesus Christ. Still I fight with myself and beat myself up everytime a “good guy” that is growing closer to God and/or making steps toward becoming a Christian and they go back to prison or up and just leave the program.
This blog post is OBVIOUSLY a venting session. not a complaint. just a venting session.
Investing your time and energy and sacrificing for the sake of a person that society doesn’t want in their neighborhood or give a chance to…after a while, it is easy to become bitter and caloussed. I know that if I had not been given another chance I wouldn’t be where I am today…
I guess what it boils down to is that when grace is in someone else’s grip, it seems unfair when they don’t see the change in the person’s heart. Rules are still rules. Grace gives room for forgiveness and repentance…rules set the boundaries…this I understand. It just one of those things that I fight with…I just pray that I never lose the desire to help others see Christ at work in their life situations.