Today I have a bit of a heavy heart. I spoke with a close friend of mine who is in the process of adopting a little one from China. He is thrilled. I am with him on that. He told me a bit about the process and how he and his wife have gotten to the stage they are in now.
He described the child they are trying to adopt. Told me of the uniqueness of this child. I was absolutely overjoyed. That is until I found out about how this little child got to where the/she is.
You see, in China, I found that if a mother comes to the thought that she does not wish to keep the baby they cannot take the child to an adoption office or local hospital. They leave the child in a public place and hope someone will find it. This child’s story is that he/she was left at the gates of the nearest child-welfare office…at two days old. This is not a judgment against them or their practices. It just breaks my heart into tiny pieces. I am glad to know that he/she was taken in and has been cared for. I just know that there are so many couples out there that have had miscarriage after miscarriage or their children simply pass away. Then there are those who are just for some reason unable to conceive.
I do not understand abortion. I am not going to make a political commentary or anything. I just simply don’t understand. It reminds me of a about a year or so ago. I was working with a program that helped men off the street and out of jail/prison. There was one of the guys (he was about 23 at the time) who came to me and kept brushing me off about what he was going through…he had been a bit withdrawn within over the previous couple of weeks. Long story short, he had been involved with a young lady and she had become pregnant. At that time, my wife and I were pregnant with our first son, but were having some complications and my wife was on bed rest for a long time. Finally after a few of probing questions, he finally breaks the silence. He tells me, “We are getting the money together to have an abortion.” I welled up with tears. I asked him why…
“Well, it just isn’t convenient for either of us. I am still property of the state and she is in school. She would have to drop out and we can’t couldn’t get married until I am released from DOC.” I told him that they are not making a good decision. You are thinking of today…NOT 10-15 years down the road. I told him that there would be a day when he would wonder what his child would look like. And as for the young girl he was with…there are women I know that are in their 40s and 50s now that are stilling dealing with their abortion experiences from 20-30 years ago. They are still being counseled on and through the grieving process.
I went on to tell him that they didn’t have to do that. I told him that I would find a way to pay for the medical care and the birth. Then when the baby comes, my wife and I would become the adoptive mother and father. Needless to say, he did not take my offer. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him in a long while, but the last time I talked to him (about 2 months after, he told me that he regretted their decision.
Here is my point: God makes life. He knows our circumstances when he brings a new life into existence. We should honor God’s choice to give us life with the welcoming response no matter the consequence that may seem to be at hand. Does having children change your life? YES!! And thank God for that. Single life was lonely. Married life was and is blissful. When you add children to the mix…life can’t get any more full of blessing mixed with a little chaos. Children teach you to be honest and full of integrity. They teach you to let your mouth match your heart and vice versa. Children teaches you unconditional love that God shows us and gives us ample opportunity to show grace and forgive…over and over again.
So, if you have children, hug them today and no matter what is going on, let them know that you love them. If you don’t yet have children, you can hug on mine.
Until next blog thought…