"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57 (NRSV)
Prodigal Thoughts: You know, most of the time when I write for the blog, I’m truly excited and energized by what God is teaching me. If I can be transparent, I really need verses like this as of late. I’d like to think I’m not depressed or having some mental health issues, but I don’t think it would be honest if I tried to play that off. As much as I would love to try to convince myself that the things I’ve gone through don’t affect me anymore, I still feel defeated a lot. Part of that is a typical feeling with folks that have ADHD. It’s called ‘Imposter Syndrome." I’ll try to explain it briefly. About a decade ago, my lovely wife and I had been serving at a church in Birmingham for the previous 10 years. After we left that church, I met up with a young church planter and he said something that shook me to my core. He said, "Mike, every person or family I’ve talked to that left that church has the same battle-worn, distant look in their eyes, but I must say, I feel yours has been one of the most severe I’ve seen." Seriously?!?!! But that’s exactly what I felt like during that time. Honestly, that’s what I feel like today. Like nothing that really matters will ever change. Sure, I can chalk it up to a "mid-life crisis" as I’m nearing my mid-40s, but I don’t think that’s what it is. Maybe it is the sadness that hangs over me due to several people around me dying of COVID or other illnesses. Maybe I just want to hold my three children that are worshiping God right now that I’ve never met before. Who knows? Maybe it is a mixture of it all.
Have I lost sight of God’s authority and power? No. Are my problems and dealing with myself something that is beyond God’s ability to restore? Of course not. God will help me through this "down-cycle." He always does. In His perfect timing. I rest in the fact that our Heavenly Father knows what is going on in our lives. He isn’t this distant being that could care less about us. Nope! That’s not our Daddy. I am comforted knowing that God’s word says that Jesus faced every trial that we could ever face…and Jesus made it through. He is my example and God is my strength.
If you are going through tough times, please know that you are not alone. God has not left your side.
Prayer for today: Daddy, I love You. I don’t really have a lot of words today, but I’m thankful that You know my heart. When I don’t have the words to pray, You pick up the pieces and hold me close. I pray that my friends here will know You in such an intimate way. Thank You for always being there, even during those times when we may not want You to be close. Thank You for rescuing us. We love You, Papa. Amen.
Need prayer? You can reply here or you can send me a facebook message through the Prodigal Thinker page. If this encourages you, feel free to share it. Feel free to reply with feedback as well. I’m always open to discussion.
God’s grace on you…