Okay, so here I am just over 2 months after I posted “the List” the first time. So looking back at it, where do i find myself? Well, let’s see…
- Above Reproach – I think that this is much better. I am finding in ministry (the Village) that I am constantly under watch and a careful ear.
- Not under compulsion to serve, but voluntary – I am still a bit reluctant at times to step in like this, yet it is situational.
- The husband of one wife – Yes. Still deal with thoughts like most guys…it is still sin and it has to be called out as sin. Making much more effort on this one.
- Not out for sordid gain, but serving with eagerness – serving with eagerness? A bit of improvement on this one. I am learning the difference though of taking on service and it being laid on your plate because no one else wants to do it.
- Prudent – I think this is coming along nicely. Results…getting things in order to attend seminary in the coming months. God is opening doors here. It is great to see that.
- Not self-willed – Seeking God’s will, but managing to bumble it up from time to time
- Respectable – I am learning to respect what God has put to life…self included. This one…he answer has changed from “i don’t respect myself, how can someone else” to and “Yes, but it is only due to God alone.”
- Not quick tempered – I still bumble this one a bit, but I’m not as jump out and blow up on you. God is showing me a good deal about the fact that if you encourage and lift up others above yourself, then it is hard to get “quick tempered” at them.
- Not lording over those in his authority, but proving to be examples – I think I am getting a glimpse of what this means. Think I am fairing alright on this one. I still jump into more of an “I’m the good guy and you are just an addict/ex-con/lowly person” on occasion, but the more that I watch the Village guys change, I see that they are a few steps ahead of me due to being more willing to accept their wrongs. Then I realize that my eye REALLY hurts since I have a LOG in it.
- Hospitable – Yep. I am loving to absolutely love others and want better for them. Willing to open my heart and hands to help that happen.
- Not addicted to wine – By the grace of God, I am not addicted, though i do sleep a bit better after one drink. If it will cause someone to stumble I pass it on by.
- Able to teach – I am still working on this one…of course, I think even the greatest teachers do. Each situation at the Village shows me what I know and reminds me of how much I have to learn.
- Not pugnacious – Had to look this up again…less combative now. Able to see my own faults.
- Not fond of sordid gain – I don’t care to have a huge paycheck. God sustains.
- Gentle – vast improvement.
- Lover of what is good – Yes. I try to reflect several times a day and remind myself of the goal or purpose for that day is. After handling a situation I will ask myself if that pointed toward the redemptive nature of God? If not, I go back and try again.
- Uncontentious – much better about this. I get frustrated that people refuse to accept God’s grace and love, but it doesn’t come to blows or anything.
- Sensible – yes. much more than two months ago.
- Free from the love of money – yes. i don’t think I ever want a huge amount of money. if it happened I would just turn it around to help someone else.
- Just – getting much better on this one. pairing it with self-controll and slow to anger…good combo.
- Manages his household well – this is something that is getting much better. Thanks to my boss man at the Village, I am now able to take a bit of extra time on the weekends and all. Sad that sometimes family time has to be scheduled because it seems like family should take more of a priority, but in the given situation, it makes sense to schedule family time.
- Devout – i think that anyone can act devout. I am reflecting a good bit more on what I read, hear, and deal with on a day-to-day basis.
- Not a new convert – Trying to put away the childish things…
- Self controlled – I get a lot less mad and more saddened at the state of people today. Understanding more about God’s grace and His desire for his people to call on him.
- A good reputation with those outside the church – I would say I would have to ask someone else. I know what I am told, but that is not for me to judge.
- Holds fast the faithful Word—both to exhort and to refute – I am really working on using the more encouraging words that God gives, especially to those that it is plain to see that don’t know God. His word is amazing and I never can read it enough.
I would say that God is really working on my heart. He is showing me just how much of Him is in me. It is not what I deserve, but it is what i get. Similar to my wife and kids. They deserve, in my opinion, a better husband/father than what they have received, but I realize that I cannot be everything they need. We aren’t set up that way. If we were then there would be no need for God and his grace, mercy, love, discipline, and redemption. I am just grateful for the position in life that I have. I am counting my blessings for what God is doing and where He has put me.
Take a moment and reflect. Ask God to show you something new today. He will bring it to you. Accept it and then move closer to Him. It is SO worth it.