Wood, Iron, Gold, Stone, or something else?

Should my likeness be made in Wood? hmmm? I guess termites and
rain water could get to it. Nope!

What about iron? Iron is strong and lasts a long time, right?
Except, well, it doesn’t look good. Nope!

I got it…Gold!!! It’s shiney and can be easily formed…but it
can’t be pure cuz pure gold isn’t very strong. Nope!

Maybe it should be a stone-carved likeness?!? Stone, can be polished
to be shiney, will hold up well in the weather…Maybe this is

Or something else, perhaps??!?

So what am I talking about? Well, I have been relying on my own self to be my own source of provision, wisdom, health, finances, and religion. Why, just yesterday morning, while at church, I looked around and (hopefully not aloud) said, “Maybe all of this belief stuff is just a heeping, hot pile of bull$hit? I mean, provision? I look around and we don’t have all of what we need. Where is God in that? Huh?!? HUH!?!?!?!? No home of our own. No mode of working transportation. Barely enough to feed ourselves. And at the end of the month, we are in the hole by nearly $100.” A little more than a year ago I looked to the Bible to find a scripture that would help me with this idea. One that was easy to remember and I could say it out loud when I doubted. I found this:

Psalm 3:5 “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.”

From reading around this verse for context, I took from it that David could lie down and sleep because he knew the goodness of God and the safety that God still provides today. And also that David was able to wake up because God had given him breath to carry him through the next day. Fast forward to today. Well, I don’t have anyone chasing me to kill me, but I do have people calling me to pay my bills. (which is never good by the way) I am not living in holes in caves, but we are living with my in-laws in a comparable amount of space like the first place that Lovely and I lived in which was about 250 sq. ft., bathroom included! We aren’t being attacked by swords and stones and arrows, but the firey arrows promised in the scripture have definately be flying in the air with our beliefs and convictions and parenting being questioned every step of every day.

So this year, I have evidentally decided that I would take on being god. I had good intentions, of course. I didn’t even do this intentionally. January of 2007 I took on a total of 1 full-time job and 2 part time jobs. Total working hours per week = approx 74 hours. I worked this schedule until May. I dropped one night to work with the choir @ the Lovelady Center. I was working at a frantic pace. At the end of June ’07 I decided to end the job at the restaurant since our rental home was being placed on the market. That cut me back to around 55 hours per week, but money was needed. Within about a month and a half I had gone back to the restaurant to help pay for gas. Finally I am back down to about 45 hours a week (for now). The Taurus should be coming out of the shop either this week or next. (I hope!?!)

So, how have I done so far as god? I have sucked it up. I probably aged about 4 years and all I have to show for it is no car, no place of our own, very little money, and furious beyond my ability to communicate.

So my choices? Wood, Stone, Gold, Iron, or maybe, just maybe I should “man up” and seek God on what He wants instead of crappin’ around trying to play like I can do anything myself.

You can’t make an omelette without…

Not that I’m wishing anything bad on myself, but I wish something would happen where I could still have money but could slow down for a few weeks. I only have a week and a half before Guitar Madness begins with two beginner classes and one level 2 class. That covers Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights. Friday and Saturday back at Salsa’s Cantina and Grill. Two Sunday nights per month @ the Lovelady Center each month. This will leave for very little time for anything else. Of course, all of this is going on while I am working for SU Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Crunch those numbers. I will be away from home and family a good bit. (This is not good.) Here is the latest figures.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday – I leave the house @ 7a.m. The classes are over @ 8 p.m., but I have to reset the classroom and clean the board. I leave the classroom by 8:15 and get home at nearly 9 p.m. – Total for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday? 14 hours per day – 42 hours

Wednesday will be the easiest schedule. Leave @ 7 a.m., home by 5 p.m. Total – 10 hours

Friday is the longest by far. Leave the house 7 a.m., leave SU by 4:45 p.m. and make the best time fighting rush hour traffic to make it to the restaurant. Start waiting tables by 5:15 p.m. Finish up at the restaurant usually by about 10:30 p.m. Total for Fridays – 15.5 hours

Saturday – a little more relaxed – Family time in the a.m., get to the restaurant by 4p.m. and stay until 10:30 again. Total for Saturdays – 6.5 hours

Sundays are tricky because it isn’t paid and you can’t really call it work. It does fill the schedule though. When I’m playing in the band here is the schedule…

Leave the house by 7:30, Practice at 8 a.m. until 9:30ish. Service @ 10 a.m. and it draws to an end usually around 12:15. Then off for a psuedo-relaxed lunch with Lovely and little Bear, back to the church to go over a song or two and to grab a guitar, back in the vehicle of the day and off to Loveladys by 5 p.m. Service from 6 p.m. to roughly 7 p.m. After that it is usually slow poke home to pass out in front of the tube or listen to the latest happenings from the people around me or to watch my in-laws play with little Bear. Off to bed by 11ish all to start over with Monday. Total for Sunday – aw, we won’t count it. I don’t think I have to…

So between Monday @ 7 a.m. and Saturday by the time I get home I have worked…

74 hours – give or take

So, what is the outcome of all of this? I am freakin’ exhausted. My co-workers only pull in 37.5 hours a week. I nearly double that. (Slackers)

I think things will smooth out by the first of the year. I hope so at least.

I know this one thing…I am getting away for a day or two within the next couple of weeks. I am going to cherish it.

My my how we grow…

Okay, so last week I get this call from Shady while I was @ work. “Hey!!! Hey!!! Hey!!!!! Little bear is sitting up by herself. She can actually go from laying on her belly to her side to sitting up straight!!!” I missed it that day, but I got to see it a lot over the weekend and last night.

So, Monday, I walk in little bear’s room because I can hear she is awake and it is probably going to be the only time I can see her…”What are you doin’ chicken little?” She smiles while holding onto the bedrail. She has pulled herself up and is standing. I showered her with hugs and kisses…and then changed out that stinky…wooh.

I saw her for about 5 minutes this morning…

It is official…(of course, it has been before now, but…) I am addicted to my family. I have to quit these 10 other jobs. I just can’t miss them anymore.