Christmas is Upon Us

It is that time of year again.  With the lighted trees in our living rooms and the presents under the tree.  Partaking of egg nog and passing around the 400 year old fruit cake.  Yep.  It is Christmas time.

This time of year always causes me to reflect on the events and happenings from the first of the year until this point.  Also, I think about the past and thank God for His goodness and grace.  So as I reflect on the previous year and years past.  Here are some thoughts that have passed through this ponderous mind.

#1.  God really did love us to send His Son as a baby.

Sure, Jesus is a warrior whose sword is bloody and his white robe is dipped in blood.  Who has a tattoo down his thigh that says, “King of King and Lord of Lords” (or so I have been told).  Yes, that same Jesus turned over the tables of the money changers in the temple.  The same One who was beaten and bruised and ultimately killed for our sins and then beat the hell out of death.  All of the strong warrior, mighty in battle references are still implied here. But where did God start Jesus off?  Yep, a baby.  Innocent.  Helpless.  Weak.  

#2.  God gives and He takes away…and He knows what He is doing.

 Now, this may come off as offensive, but that is truly not my concern.  God has given Lovely and I five children.  We are grateful for the three that we still have with us.  The two that God “took away” or kept for His own (Tobias Mikal & Jonah-Miriam) are still very much missed.  As I was hanging our stockings the other night, I could not help but to let the tears fall.  I still miss our kids.  As of right now, Tobias would be nearly 4 years old and Jonah-Miriam would be nearly three years old.  I do not care how much time passes, I will still love them and miss them.  And no, it is not because they were sick.  It was not to keep us from pain because we are still grieving.  Their deaths did not happen because something would have been wrong with them that we could not handle.  God, for His glory, ushered them into His presence.  After our miscarriages, we were able to help minister to about 7 other couples that went through the same thing…within about six months.  Bigger picture?  It seems that God allowed us to face this situation, hurt, pain, grief, and all to build character and to help the other couples.

#3.  Finding the Peace in the Storm.

Lovely & I have been through more junk this year (or just over) that we really care to deal with.  While the bible promises that we will not be given more than we can handle, this year is REALLY pushing that limit.  We moved.  I got laid off (in 2009).  We found out about a bunch of deception.  God provided a new job.  I received a promotion at the new job.  God added a new blessing to the MTP crew.  We moved again.  Another promotion.  Plus much much more.  

I cannot honestly say that I have had the most optimistic outlook on all of these situations.  I have not have the most God-honoring attitude.  But now that the year is drawing to a close, I am now looking back and seeing God in every circumstance.  Just little ribbons of God’s grace or protection, goodness and mercy.  

#4.  Thank God for newness

God has a funny way about guiding you through life and giving you little glimpses of what is next….sometimes.  Often it feels like a carrot being held in front of a donkey to keep it going.  Other times it feels like being strapped to an engine that is hitting mach three with no signs of slowing.  No matter what way is being experienced at the time, God’s sovereignty is the hope.  If it is a new season of life, then God is the author and finisher of our faith.  All in all, God is to be praised.  

So as we approach this holiday season, take a moment.  Think about God’s goodness.  Think about God’s approach to what your life has been like this past year.  Find the grace, truth, and protection in those times.  Maybe you just need to find Jesus.  And that is okay.  We all need Jesus.  Just Jesus…and the reason that he came in weakness.  The way Jesus came into this world was just the opposite of the way He went out.  He that came to life in weakness defeated death.  The One who came in innocence bore our sins and made a way for us to speak directly to God by shattering the sacrificial system of the Jewish culture.  And as Jesus was helpless as a baby, as our Savior, he willingly walked to His scourging and death…in order to give us life.

As Christmas is upon us, lets stop.  Reflect.  And thank Jesus for what he did for us.  If you need help remembering what he did.  Watch the movie from Mel Gibson’s ‘Passion of the Christ’.

Let’s Talk About Hope

I have watched from a distance as a sweet couple that I know that have gone through some extremely difficult times especially over the past year.

One of their beautiful children was in a tragic accident and at the age of 2 years old went to be with Jesus.  Sweet Abigail can in no way be replaced nor should anyone try to replace one child with another.  Out of the love that I know that this family has for children and family, they are adopting a little girl and would appreciate your support.

If you need a little hope in your grief, go to their blog at http://hopeinthegrief.blogspot.com.

If you need some inspiration, go to their blog.

If you think that God’s mercy and love for us is dead…  you guessed it.

Go and visit http://hopeinthegrief.blogspot.com or their Facebook page

And if nothing else, pray.

Until next time,

mtp
 

Ring my bell, Pavlov

Pavlov had a very interesting experiment.  I’m sure you remember…  The dogs.  He would subject the dogs to various stimuli (i.e. ring a bell, start a metronome, etc) and feed the dogs.  Over a good bit of time (many feedings), the dogs subconsciously react to the stimulus and would salivate when the bell rang without being fed.

We are not so much different, right?  I mean, we subject ourselves to various stimuli and over time it creates an automatic reaction.  
Case in point…A few years back, I started working a full-time job and at least one part-time job…sometimes two.  I learned to be very efficient and work hard but still conserve energy to some extent.  After all, 15-20 hour days will take a toll on your body.  Well, now that I am only working 40 hours per week (outside of family and school) I am constantly in a state of feeling inadequate because I’m not working 15-20 hours per week.  So what do I do?  Busy myself.  Over-commit myself in a lot of cases.  So the inadequacies I feel with NOT working so many hours cause anxiety.  The same type of anxious feelings that I used to get day after day for about 3 years of getting very little sleep.
Or how about this one…what are some things that your spouse (or close friend) do now that frustrated the mess out of you, but you used to think were funny?  Oh!  Yep, I saw that.  You just thought of about four of them, right?  Yep.  THAT’s what I’m talking about.
  
Well, I wish I could say that a long day was my only “bell” or trigger.  Nope, I have dozens.  There are words or phrases, smells, noises, looks…and even more that will not process through this brain of mine after being awake for 20 hours now.  (See…ring ring.)  There are certain smells that cause me to become frustrated or cause me to look over my shoulder.  There are phrases or words that cause my heart to sink or my blood to boil.  Other noises still that make me cringe…  Why?
I think we are shaped by every little decision or happening.  Those are times that God refines our character…works on us by revealing our sins and flawed ways by not being surrendered.
So the questions for tonight (or today) are:
What are your bells?  What evokes your emotions?  What provokes your anger?  What are you doing to let God receive glory from the situation?  Is it a time that you bite the hand that feeds?  
Your thoughts, please.  If this public forum is too much, please feel free to send me a Private/Direct Message or email.
mtp

Weekendings for Nov 20-21

This weekend has been an absolutely AWESOME weekend.  I wish I could share all of the details, but I am just really excited about where God has us right now.

Well, Friday was a work day and it was kind of a long day.  So when I was able to head home for the weekend, I was just really looking forward to relaxing just a half a bit.  By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was just roll around in the floor with the kids and love on my lovely.  We just relax a little while and all cuddle up and watch a Christmas movie.  And after a couple of phone calls, my weekend gets put on a level of relaxing that I have not had in a while.

Saturdays (as much as possible) is Pancakes and Pop-Pop.  That consists of letting my wife sleep in a bit and I get the kids up and make pancakes for them.  Complete with running commentary and various voices and made up languages as I pour each one in the pan, flip, and then plate.  (The kids love it.  That’s why I do it.)  Well, I got a call of a gift.  A relative of ours had too much furniture and was ready to give away a slightly used recliner.  ON IT!!!  Went and picked it up and delivered it home.  (Wifey gives it 2 thumbs up.)  After a little bit we get out for a little while (much needed) and head to the Pretty Things store. (Old Time Pottery) And within a few quick stops and a total of about 5 hours out of the house, we head back.  After the kids go down for the night, I get the guitar out to practice for playing along side a couple of good friends this morning at Beacon UMC.

Leading worship today was wonderful.  It as just nice to hear harmonies of good friends that know you and the part that you sing.  Within a few minutes, we were harmonizing like we did 8 years ago.  (Well, less actually, but we were the most close-knit 8 years ago…I think.)

Today has just been an amazing gust of fresh air.  I am still extremely busy and will still be under a good bit of stress over the next four weeks with school, but today was a nice little reminder that God is faithful and in control.

I am looking forward to next Sunday as I will have another opportunity to help lead again.  I am thankful for God’s gifting and His timing even though I do not understand it.

mtp

Please Do Not Humble the Proud

I live a fairly meager life.  For the most part I like it that way.  There are a few things that I would change up if I had the chance, but it is not up to me for most of that.  But I can honestly say that I am a proud man. Yep… Very proud.  Keep reading and I think you’ll see why I don’t think I am in trouble.

I am extremely proud…

…of my wife.  She is an amazing woman and God’s grace bundled up in a cute little package.  She is raising and teaching our three beautiful children that are here with us.  She is studying diligently and amazes me every time I walk in the door of our house.

…of my kids.  They are truly a heritage from the Lord.  Each with their own personality, they love to love and love to serve and be big helpers.  They are as brilliant as their mom-mom and equally as beautiful.

But mostly, I am extremely proud…

…of my Jesus.  He loves me through the most difficult situations (which seem to be a constant for me) and is always there.  Jesus shows me through his life how I am not worthy to be called his own, but that he made a way through his love and sacrifice that I am made new.  That means the world to me.  Outside of God, I am nothing but a dirtbag. (literally, a pile of dust).  God makes me who I am.  Without him I am a sinful, junk-box of hatred and utter grossness.  Without God’s love I would have no clue as to love my wife and kids…or others for that matter.  I can honestly say that the people who do not understand love….do not understand the love that is waiting for them.  I am glad that I was called out on October 22, 2002 and realized that I was so far away from God even though I was serving in church.

And by the way, I cannot claim that I know everything there is to know about God’s love.  I hope I never figure it all out…and I do not think I have to worry about it.  God is so much bigger than my little sin-shaped box of a mind.  Each day, God reveals more and more about His desire for me and the love that He has for us.

So I guess, in the middle of all of the thanksgiving and proudness that I have for God and my family I am already humbled.

Well, there you go.  Enjoy your kids and family.  Yes, even the ones that get on your last nerve.  Happy Holidays, folks.

mtp

Lumpy Throats, Kids, & Guitars

So about two weeks ago, I was asked to fill in for the music minister of the church and Wifey and I have been going to for about 6 weeks or so.  This seemed like an odd request, but I was happy to serve…so I said, “Sure, just name the day.”  Well, today was the day.

The music minister and his wife just had their first baby this past week and if there is anyone out there that understands the adjustment that a baby makes, it would be me.  (or anyone else that has at least one child)  So, we set it up and got all of the details ironed out.  I spent a good bit of time in the late-night or early morning practicing and working through the songs.  I made the revelation of John Mark McMillan’s interview about the song “How He Loves.”  After I watched this video, I was completely undone.

All of the emotion and hurt and gunk and grime from the past 3 years began to loosen up and after making a HUGE lump in my throat, came out of my eyes through tears.  I wish I could say that it was happy tears.  It wasn’t.

As I made my way through the lyrics…I would sing/play about two lines and then break down.  Then compose myself and pick up again…just adding line by line.

That is until I arrived at the line about “So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss…”  The symbolism there was too much to take.  The interview shows a few shots of his child who was drooling all over him giving kisses.  I immediately track to Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Heaven Is The Face” and that is pretty much it.  Each time I try to sing that line…or even think about singing I am overwhelmed.

I think of the two children that I never held.  I look at pictures of their brother and sisters and I wonder what they look like.  Did they have red hair like their mom?  Blue eyes like me?  I wonder what their laughs would have sounded like?  These are things that consume my thoughts on my drive to work, when I play guitar…whenever life is quiet…(like right now).

So as I approached the microphone behind a guitar this morning, I began to strum and glanced at the words.  I successfully got through the first line.  And then it happened…  I just completely broke down and wept half way through the song.  I am thankful that the song was familiar to the people.  In essence, they led me in worship.  It was amazing.

Not to say that the healing process is complete.  That is not true by any stretch.  I think that it has just begun and that it will be a long, messy road that my life thus far has led up to.  I can see that the songs that will come out of this season and life so far could be all across the board.  But for tomorrow?  I will continue to love, live, hurt, and grow in God.  I will look for more opportunities to led and love God’s people.

Long and short of it…today was very much defining for me.  I am thankful that God offered this opportunity.

mtp

Onward Christian Soldiers

I have debated for a long time whether or not I should use such a public forum for such a private matter.  It has been a long time of just trying to filter through all of the stuff and find peace in the storm.  This is the main reason it has been such a long time since my last blog entry. 
As I have been carrying all of the baggage over the past months, I have wondered what other have been through.  I mean, the subject matter of this blog (which I will visit in just a bit) is not the easiest to speak about let alone throw out into the public…but I have been wanting to know what other like myself have done. 
Now, let me preface this blog with this:  Even though this entry is written with a bit of hurt remaining, it is not my intention to hurt others.  If you are looking for gossip, then please hit the “Next” button up at the top of this page. 
My lovely and I served at a church in our area for about 9 years.  Now we were not pastors of the church but we were heavily involved.  We loved and served our church faithfully.  Several months ago the church had its last meeting.  Now, the details of why the church dissolved are actually irrelevant at this point (especially concerning this blog).  There are many families and friends from said church that are still in close relationship and that has been helpful.  But the thing I have been wrestling with is…
Where do we fit in?
I understand the references in the Bible about being transplanted or grafted into relationship to Christ or the body of believers.  (Actually, just thinking about it, there seem to be a lot of farming references…especially in the New Testament.)  So when one begins to find a new body of believers, how can you fit in?  I know that my family felt so grafted in that we never felt as if we would be able to belong to another body.  Yet we find ourselves in the place that we thought we would never see.  Another church.
I understand that God gifts us all differently according to His design.  We all serve a purpose whether we acknowledge it or not.  But when you know that you are gifted to do hands-on, elbows-deep ministry, how do you start all over?  How do you head back to home base after you have been fighting in the trenches or on the front lines?
I would really like your input on this.  If you do not wish to comment here, please feel free to message me directly.  Again, my desire is not to cause hurt…only to gain some insight.  And hopefully, from that insight will be a little nugget of wisdom.
As for all of those who seek God’s face and desire to see the Kingdom of God advanced, I pray for you a prayer of protection and God’s guidance.  For those who do not know God or do not care to know Him, I pray for you as well.  Just that God will prosper you and keep you until the time He reveals his love for you…

Thank you and I look forward to your responses.

mtp 

Top 10 List: Newborn questions

The following is a list of things that I have heard after having a newborn:

 

 

 

#10 – How are the big sister and big brother handling the new arrival?

 

#09 – How much did she weigh? (Usually asked by women)

 

#08 – Are you all getting any sleep?

 

#07 – How are the mommy and the baby doing?

 

#06 – When are you going to send/post pictures?

 

#05 – Who does he/she favor?

 

#04 – Are you sending pictures or are you not?

 

#03 – She had the baby without an epidural?

 

#02 – And just how many kids are you going to have?

 

#01 – You named her WHAT?!?!?!?

 

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed this top 10 list.

 

 

 

Until next time.

 

Bye bye boots

So my wife and I just took a quick trip to North Alabama and Middle Tennessee on Wednesday. We had dropped the kiddos off at the grands’ house. So it was just the two if us…well, the three of us, counting baby Hosanna.
We left BHM right after I clocked out from work on Tuesday pm. Once we reached North AL we found a nice hotel and checked in for the night.
In the a.m. we checked out and made our way to our various tasks for the day on Wednesday. It wasn’t until Thursday am that I realized I had left something VERY important. My boots. Why are they important? Well, they are my only pair of shoes that I can wear to work. They were the best. A pair of black, steel-toe swat boots.
Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to try to find another pair. Until then, my toes are not protected.
Until the next random blog post.

Review of "Steering through Chaos" by Scott Wilson

“Steering through Chaos” by Scott Wilson

A book full of insight, experience, and practical application. A MUST READ!!!

As I began to read Scott Wilson’s book, I was not quite sure what to expect. In all honesty, I had never heard of Scott Wilson, so why would I do this? Invest time in a book that I had never heard of that was written by someone I did not know? Simple. Curiousity. As it turns out, Steering through Chaos has been exactly what I needed.

I recently have watched a church body change and morph and begin to get back to the very truth and simplicity that is the gospel. It was out of this curiosity that I read this book. So, in a nutshell, here is a brief review of “Steering through Chaos.”
It seems that Scott Wilson penned this book out of a lot of personal experience, prayer, petition, and seeking to do the will of God. Through any church’s existance, there is push and pull, ebb and flow. Comfort is not something that the Bible points to for followers of Jesus Christ. Scott simply gathers his experiences as a minister and points back to the biblical principles that the church must change and be on the forefront of God’s heart, reaching the lost, the hurting…and challenges the bride of Christ (the church) to return to it’s first love, the true message of the good news that is Jesus Christ.
Whether you are a lay person, a church leader, elder, deacon, pastor of a small group, a mid-sized church, a mega-church, rural church, suburb or city church. This book applies to the whole spectrum. Why? How? Simple. When Jesus calls us to go and make disciples, that means that we will ALL cross paths. So put down your boxing gloves, read “Steering through Chaos” and cry out to God to reveal the vision, the direction, the empowerment, and the people He intends to carry out the ministry He has charged you with.